I asked you to find an actor from middle America, a real person. You’re not going to find him in the People’s Gaypublic of Drugafornia.
—Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock.
Yes, Okay, when I’m at. Hey, what are you up to with. Well, I can’t read that leases. I don’t answer is, is exactly what you want to do to work with anything else. I keep talking. We’re gonna stop talking now baby I just hang up. Now I know this is actually offer long enough. I will talk to you later. I hope the kids are fine. Bye.
—Google Voice transcribing my voicemail to Bracken.
You had said that we did this for a show.
—Balloon Boy
Another way of putting it is when, you know, I’m busy and Nancy [Pelosi is] busy with our mop cleaning up somebody else’s mess — we don’t want somebody sitting back saying, you’re not holding the mop the right way. (Applause.) Why don’t you grab a mop, why don’t you help clean up. (Applause.) You’re not mopping fast enough. (Laughter.) That’s a socialist mop. (Laughter and applause.) Grab a mop — let’s get to work.
—President Obama
Certainly from our standpoint, this gives us a sense of momentum — when the United States has accolades tossed its way, rather than shoes.
—PJ Crowley, spokesman for Secretary of State Hillary Clinton
If you want something to grow, pee on it.
—My attending.
It’s not a place to go / It’s a place that comes to you / It’s not about who you know / or who’s in your heart / It may come as a surprise / that you are not alone / All that you have / is not what you own
—YACHT, “The Afterlife”
Pleasantly demented.
—An attending referring to my patient.
The worst is all the lovely weather / I’m sad, it’s not raining / The coffee isn’t even bitter / Because, what’s the difference? / There’s all the work that needs to be done / It’s late, for revision / There’s all the time and all the planning / And songs, to be finished.
—LCD Soundsystem, “Someone Great”
He will rape your children with his mouth!